Monthly information digest for EditPros clients and friends

CONTENTS FEATURE: April Foozle: Loopy misspellings and misunderstood phrases GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn up to $500 FEATURE: April Foozle: Dazzlingly loopy misspellings and misunderstood phrases      When your fingers are flying across the keyboard under the pressure of a deadline, or when you're forcing yourself to write while fatigued, mistakes are almost inevitable. Even the most careful writer has made inadvertent typographical errors -- "typos" -- such as transposition of two letters in a word (for example, writing "silver" instead of "sliver," or "compiled" instead of "complied," or "martial" instead of "marital"), or unintended substitution of one letter for another (such as "nasal" instead of "naval") or typing "to" instead of "too" during a distracted moment.      Typos can be humorous, but not nearly as entertaining as errors that clearly result from lack of understanding or from unfamiliarity with terms. We've spotted many such malapropisms during our years of editing, and some of our friends have sent us ludicrous examples that they've spotted. We've compiled a list of a dozen of our favorites, which we honor with our April Foozle Awards. "Foozle" is a verb that means "bungle." Here are the 12 winners, in reverse order to save the best for the last. 12. A customer who bought a book from Amazon.com wrote a review that declared, "I was born and raised Christain, but I check this book out from the library and I was fasenated." We'll give the reviewer a pass for the misspelling of "Christian," which could have been a typo, and for the omission of the past-tense "ed" ending from "checked." But "fasenated" deserves a Foozle Award. That's a creative spelling, but it should have been FASCINATED, of course. 11. In response to a sports story about the trade of an athlete, a reader commented, "Good riddens. He was contributing zero to the team." The article wasn't about horse racing; it was about hockey, so no one was being ridden. The phrase is "good RIDDANCE." 10. A magazine article described a "cattle heard grazing in a field." Those bovines probably were chewing loudly, or else they wouldn't have been heard. Of course, that was a cattle HERD. 9. The e-mail newsletter of a popular Southern Gospel singing group described the members' appreciation of another singing group with whom they like to perform. The newsletter said, "We always look forward to working with these guys and they never sieze to amaze the crowds." Steve H., who sent that item to us, observed, "Wrong word, and misspelled, too." Indeed. The correct spelling is "seize" — but in this context, the correct word is CEASE. They never cease to amaze the crowds. 8. An article about the "minimalist" movement in golf course design stated, "It's a movement that has spurned creation of courses such as Sand Hills, Bandon Dunes and Pacific Dunes, Bandon Trails, Friar's Head, Ballyneal, and Sutton Bay and a few others over recent years. The aforementioned courses, in particular, are so remarkable that they will touch your golf soul — they speak to the spirit of the game." Spurning is the act of rejecting, scorning or trampling something. The golf courses that the article lists were designed in the minimalist approach. The minimalist movement didn't spurn them; it did just the opposite: it SPAWNED them - induced their creation. 7. A North Dakota newspaper reported that "A man who admitted embezzling millions of dollars from a Bismarck company to invest in real estate and ethanol ventures has agreed to plead guilty to income tax invasion." No, he didn't break into an Internal Revenue Service. No invasion occurred. He was charged with income tax EVASION. 6. A columnist discussing search engine optimization for Web sites wrote, "Make a list of all the keywords you find in their source code, navigation and content. Your list will be long, but you'll pair it down in a few minutes." Unless the list will be reduced to only two keywords, the process is PARING down (not "pairing down"). 5. "After eight glorious hours in my cubical, I get to spend two more in my car," wrote a blogger, who disputed need for a "good Samaritan" roadside help service that a pharmacy retailer offered. "If you ask me, I'd just assume eliminate that service all together and have one less van on the road." The "cubical" spelling is imaginative, but wrong; the correct spelling is CUBICLE. And the adverb "all together" in the sense of "completely" should be expressed as one word with one "l": ALTOGETHER. But "I'd just assume" constitutes the most glaring misunderstanding in this passage. The proper idiomatic expression expressing preference or willingness is "JUST AS SOON" or "AS SOON" — equivalent to the adverb "rather." 4. On a discussion board, a college student wrote, "I'm a freshmen and at this point of life I'm feeling low-self-a-steam." The student appears to have two problems. The first is an apparent split personality; he thinks he's more than one person — that is, unless he's really a freshMAN rather than freshMEN. And if he's feeling even low-level steam, he's probably sitting too close to a heat source. That's low self-ESTEEM, pal. 3. The dinner menu at a posh country club dining room described a lasagna entrČe as "tender lasagna sheets filled with ground beef sausage, regatta cheese, parmesan cheese and a flavorful marinara sauce." This is not a sailing vessel. It's cheese. RICOTTA cheese. 2. In a message expressing gratitude for helpful service, a customer wrote, "I called the number and it was answered within two rings. A very polite gentleman asked a couple of questions, and said a new one would be on its way in the same afternoon. Low and beholed, the very next day my nice new monitor arrived." That's LO (an interjection that indicates wonder or surprise) and BEHOLD (observe or look). LO AND BEHOLD. 1. Here's our favorite: In an online discussion about correction of child misbehavior, a participant who favored a system of rewards wrote, "There are ways to tell what is the problem, and the easiest is to up the auntie. Make it worth their while." Sorry, but neither the child's "auntie" nor uncle was involved. The intended expression was up the ANTE.      We'll try to gather enough examples during the next 12 months to make another April Foozle Awards presentation next year. If you spot any potential candidates, please send them to us. GRAMMAR COACH: Fielding your questions 1. Roger G. wrote:      "I enjoy your newsletter and newspaper columns. A recent one, about spelling, tickled my memory about when I was a deputy DA of Yolo County in the late 1960s and received a report from a police agency in the county (can't remember which one) about a traffic violation. The police officer stated in the report, 'I observed the subject driving in an erotic manner.'" The grammar coach replies:      Roger, your message didn't say whether the violation was written for reckless driving or indecent exposure. But we appreciate your note, which gave us the inspiration for this month's "Foozle Awards" feature article. Please let us hear from you again. 2. Diane K. wrote:      "I really got a chuckle out of one of your recent newspaper columns because it brought to mind an incident that happened with my two nieces. One niece was texting the other that she had to get busy packing for a family get-together at the beach and she texted, 'up and Adam.' My other niece texted back saying, 'are you bringing a guy named Adam?' After we all had a good laugh, we got into a big family discussion about whether it was 'Adam' or 'at 'em,' and I stated it was the latter, as in 'up and at them.' Hope I am right." The grammar coach replies:      You are correct, Diane; the proper phrase is "up and at 'em" (a colloquial adaptation of "up and at them"). The phrase is used as a rallying call to action, typically in reference to a task. You may wonder, then, why the phrase is not expressed as "up and at it." Although documentation is imprecise, some accounts attribute the origin of the phrase to Duke of Wellington, who according to legend spoke those words to inspire his troops heading into the Battle of Waterloo on June 22, 1815. "A Dictionary of Catch Phrases from the Sixteenth Century to the Present Day" by Eric Partridge contains an entry for the phrase "up, guards, and at 'em," which it defines as "a catchphrase of light-hearted or nonchalant defiance or jocular encouragement." That dictionary further said the Duke of Wellington demurred somewhat when he was asked in 1852 to recall what he had said to his troops before battle: "What I must have said and possibly did say was, 'Stand up, guards!' and then gave the commanding officers the order to attack." By then, the possibly convoluted phrase already had become part of the lexicon.      Are you perplexed by some aspect of grammar or word usage? Don't be shy! Ask the "grammar coach" at EditPros and we'll try to help—at no charge, just for the sport of it. FINDER'S FEE: Recommend a friend—and earn a finder's fee of up to $500      Do you know of a friend or colleague whose office can benefit from EditPros' services? If you do, EditPros may reward you with a "finder's fee" of up to $500.      EditPros LLC, established in 1993, performs writing, editing, proofreading and publication management services for newsletters, brochures, Web sites, annual reports, research studies, business proposals, and other informational and marketing materials. Our office is in Davis, Calif., between Sacramento and San Francisco; however, our clients include educational institutions, private corporations, health-care organizations, trade associations, scientific research institutions, Web site developers and government agencies from throughout the United States. We have worked with some of them for more than 10 years.      If you recommend our services to a friend or business colleague, and that introduction leads to an assignment for EditPros, we will award you a "finder's fee" equaling 10 percent of the amount we earn on the first assignment for the new client, up to a maximum finder's fee of $500. Naturally, the finder's fee is applicable only to client organizations for which we have not worked previously.      This offer will remain in effect until further notice. YOUR TURN: Ask the "grammar coach" or subscribe      We invite you to submit your questions to the "grammar coach," and we welcome you to subscribe to this monthly newsletter—which we'll send to your e-mail address at no charge. We respond to all "grammar coach" questions personally, but delays may occur because we must place top priority on assignments from our clients. We appreciate your patience and your interest.      You also can change your e-mail subscription address. For an address change, please indicate your existing AND your new e-mail address. Thank you. OUR PRIVACY POLICY for e-mail newsletter subscribers:      We do not use any commercial e-mail lists or automated mass-mailing programs, and we do not allow access to the list by anyone else for any reason. Our subscriber list is maintained by hand, and it is not for sale. We are protective of confidentiality because many of our readers are also clients of ours. Any accompanying advertising is placed by Yahoo.com in exchange for our use of the e-mail server to distribute this newsletter.